How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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