theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
