You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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