Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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