I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
