is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
