Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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