Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
