you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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