sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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