You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
