Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
