Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
