My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
