at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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