did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
