Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
