Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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