just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
