just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.