I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.