Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."