I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
