My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
