So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
