we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
