I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
