you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
