My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
