i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
