My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
