Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
