So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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