Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
