it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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