your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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