She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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