Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize