yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize