Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
