I wannas sexs uuuuu
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
