People with herpes should wear stickers.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
