My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
