so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
