.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize