Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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