He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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