An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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