Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
