White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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