So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
