He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
