Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it hurts more in the daytime
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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