I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize