Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
