Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
