smell my finger.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
