with your own penis?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
