We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just found a bag of teeth...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
