Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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