broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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