Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
be right there i have to get my cape
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
