I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I fill condoms, not promises.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
