Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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