Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
