i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
