hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
