I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
