theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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