it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
