He had one of those small greek statue penises
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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