all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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