dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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